Learn Chinese tongue twister - The Monk and the Mute

My Childhood Memory In 80’s Malaysia

Nowadays, what's the children's games? Definitely are computer games, PS3, PSP, iPad, iPhone and more which these advanced electronic devices are not available at our childhood. Since technology advanced pretty fast, few of these games or foods are rare to see now, I’m sure all these will make you recall back to your childhood, those good old days..
No one will know what is the feeling when seeing these pictures but only those are born in 80’s Malaysia (may other countries as well) will understand exactly how much i miss it.

Games

Cartoon

Food

10 Marriage Tips Every Wife Needs To Hear

I came across an interesting blog. (http://eighthrising.wordpress.com/2013/10/28/10-marriage-tips-every-wife-needs-to-hear/)
I cant seems to share it here, so i copied it here.
It's for wife but i think it's useful to girlfriend too. (Just change the "husband" and "marriage" and "D" words.) Check the link above to read more.


There’s a blog post that’s recently gone viral, written by a divorced man featuring some really sound advice about marriage (click here to read it).  I really have to applaud this guy.  It takes guts to stand up and be transparent about your failures.  It’s equally as commendable to stand up and say how you’d do things differently.
One thing that his post is lacking, however, is the female perspective.  After reading his post, I wanted to take some time and write down some things that I’ve learned in the last ten years.  You see – I’m now in my third marriage.  When people learn this fact about me, their reaction is usually pretty awkward.  It’s almost as if they’re waiting for me to be embarrassed by my admission. While going through two divorces was some of the most painful times of my life, I’d only feel ashamed if I’d gone through it without being able to say I’ve learned a thing or two.  My husband and I had both been through divorce before we married each other, and with that brings a unique perspective into many do’s and don’ts of how to treat your spouse. Don’t get me wrong – our marriage isn’t perfect, but our failures in past relationships have shaped decisions we make about the way we treat each other, and to be honest, I’m glad I went through it.  We’ve learned better, so now we do better.

And with that, I’d like to offer up my version of his wise marriage tips – from a woman who has triumphed the murky waters of divorce.

1. Respect your husband.  - Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.
2. Guard your heart.  - The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.
3. God, husband, kids…in that order.  - I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.
4. Forgive.  - No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ) – you will keep resentment from growing.
5. Over-communicate.  - I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.
6. Schedule a regular date night.  - This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.
7. Never say the “D Word”.  - If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.
8. Learn his love language.  - Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  Edited to add: If you are unfamiliar with the principles behind love languages, you can learn more about it here.
9. Never talk negatively about him.  - I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!
10. Choose to love.  - There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.

Do You Know About OIL?

Does applying oil to your skin terrify you with visions of breakouts, blackheads or a greasy oil slick? If so, you’re not alone. But before you forego oils entirely as part of a healthy skin care regimen, read on. It turns out that using oils on your skin (and yes, this includes your face) have some incredible benefits. The key is figuring out which oil is right for your skin type and knowing how to use it.


Marula
Known as Africa’s “miracle oil,” Marula Oil has been revered among African women for centuries for its powerful moisturizing and anti-aging benefits. Extracted from the fruit kernels of the marula tree, this precious and highly prized oil from Kenya nourishes and deeply hydrates the skin while protecting it from those damaging free radicals that accelerate aging. What makes it so effective? For one thing, it’s super-rich in fatty acids and Vitamins E and C. And for another, it has higher levels of antioxidants and Omega Oils than Argan Oil. But the proof is in the using. Marula Oil has been shown to visibly reduce the look of wrinkles—from crow’s feet to those “parentheses” that frame the lips. The way to get the best benefits of this light, non-greasy oil is to use it sparingly. Day and night, massage just two or three drops on your face, neck and décolleté as a stand-alone moisturizer or layered under another facial moisturizer, if your skin is on the drier side.


Grape Seed Oil
Another oil known for its great anti-aging benefits, Grape Seed Oil is light, absorbent and helps to regulate your skin’s natural oil production—making it ideal for oily skin. Found to lighten age spots and pigmented skin caused by UV rays, Grape Seed Oil has been shown in scientific studies to have more linoleic acid than most oils, as well as more antioxidant power than Vitamins C and E. Plus, biochemists researching the health benefits of this oil have found that it contains Oligomeric Proanthocyanidins (also known as OPCs)—another class of flavonoid complexes that act as antioxidants in the body. In addition to their antioxidant abilities of fighting off free radicals, OPCs also stabilize Collagen and maintain the skin’s Elastin, for a visibly firmer appearance. Use Grape Seed Oil directly on your body to reduce the appearance of stretch marks and saggy skin. Although the oil is often found in many cosmetic products, you can also add one to two drops of Grape Seed Oil to your face moisturizer to enhance its effectiveness.


 Olive Oil
Olive Oil is more than just a condiment. Once referred to as “liquid gold” by Homer, Olive Oil has been used as a beauty and skin care remedy by the Phoenicians, Greeks, Egyptians and Romans. Today, it’s still prized for everything from erasing stretch marks and minimizing wrinkles to anti-aging therapy and deep hydration. One reason Olive Oil is so effective is that it’s rich in antioxidants, such as Vitamins A and E, polyphenols, phytoserols and the rare compound, Hydroxytyrosol, all of which help repair skin and neutralize the free radicals that cause skin damage. These antioxidants have a natural ability to stimulate cells and bring skin back to a firmer, healthier state. Applied to the face or body, Olive Oil will penetrate deeply and create a protective barrier that traps moisture without clogging your pores. And because it’s gentle and non-irritating, it’s a good choice for sensitive skin, though people with very dry skin should avoid using it. Olive Oil can serve many skin care purposes: As a nighttime facial moisturizer, Olive Oil can be applied sparingly to cleaned skin. Mixed with sugar, it makes an excellent exfoliating facial scrub. Add 3 to 4 tablespoons of olive oil with a few drops of an essential oil like lavender to the bath for a fragrant, hydrating soak. Actress Emily Blunt once told Allure magazine that she soaks her face in Olive Oil to soften her skin. If you’re prone to acne, you might want to proceed with caution (though Olive Oil has also been touted as a great treatment for acne as it doesn’t clog pores.) As a skin care remedy—the same as when using it as a condiment—100% cold-pressed, extra-virgin Olive Oil is best.


Argan Oil
Extracted from the kernels of the argan tree, Argan Oil is one of the rarest and most expensive oils in the world. Berber women have used this precious oil for centuries to nourish and protect their skin. Abundant with super-high levels of Vitamin E, antioxidants and essential fatty acids, it’s excellent for repairing cell membranes, preventing premature aging, reducing inflammation and retaining moisture. Argan is also rich in proteins, which help tighten the skin, minimize wrinkles and improve elasticity. Experts believe that Argan Oil can also help with many skin conditions, from dry skin patches to psoriasis, eczema and acne. Argan Oil can be found in some skin care products, though many people look for it in its pure form. If you have pure raw Argan Oil, a few drops can be applied to clean skin at night
as a moisturizer. It’s non-greasy and non-oily, absorbing easily into the skin.


Black Currant Oil
Derived from Black Currant Seeds, this centuries- old health tonic is wonderful for skin that has undergone some sort of trauma—for example, post-laser treatment, or even for someone with wind-burned skin après a day on the slopes. Rich in vitamins, antioxidants, essential fatty acids and anti-inflammatory properties, it helps slow down the skin’s aging process and is wonderful for repairing damaged tissues, healing scars and minimizing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. It even helps minimize symptoms of psoriasis and eczema. A word of caution: Allergic reactions to Black Currant Oil are possible, so check with a professional before using.


Rose Hip Seed Oil
Rose Hip Seed Oil is one of the best oils available for anti-aging and skin rejuvenation. Packed with Vitamin A, Vitamin E and essential fatty acids, it helps delay the effects of skin aging, promotes cell turnover and boosts Collagen production for firmer, smoother skin. In addition, it’s ideal for minimizing the appearance of scars, stretch marks, age spots and hyper-pigmentation. Rose Hip Oil is known as a “dry” oil, which means that it soaks into the skin easily without leaving a greasy residue. This oil deeply hydrates and can be used straight out of the bottle—even on sensitive skin. It’s not, however, recommended for use on acne prone or very oily skin.


Chamomile Oil
Just as chamomile tea is known for its relaxing, stress-relieving properties, Chamomile Oil is excellent for calming the skin. A great choice for people with sensitive skin, Chamomile is a natural skin soother, calming irritations, redness, sunburn, windburn and bruises almost immediately. In addition to its calming abilities, Chamomile’s anti-inflammatory and antiseptic properties make it an ideal choice for people suffering from rosacea or broken capillaries, as well as for treating acne, eczema, psoriasis, rashes, burns and redness. As Chamomile is a member of the ragweed family, people with allergies to ragweed should avoid Chamomile Oil. To make sure it’s okay for you to use, test patch the oil by dabbing a drop on your wrist for a day to see if you have any allergic reactions.

What are "Heaty" and "Cooling" Food?

When a Chinese uses the terms 'heaty' or 'heatiness' to describe the kinds of foods he/she would like to have or avoid, most Westerners would probably have no idea what those concepts are or find them strange. 

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the notion of heaty (yang)(as opposed to cooling or yin) is related to the balancing of ‘yin' and ‘yang'. To most people, especially the Chinese, in Asian countries such as China, Hong Kong, Malaysia and Singaporeans, such concepts are very much part of the indigenous culture and are commonly used as a form of expressing certain set of symptoms or sensations often associated with emotional or physical reactions such as: 

1. Feelings of irritability;
2. Short temper; 
3. Fever; 
4. Constipation; 
5. •Flushed face or cheeks; 
6. Dark yellow urine; 
7. Sore throat
8.  •Nose bleed; 
9. Outbreak of pimples and acne; 
10. Rashes
11.  •Mouth ulcers; 
12. Indigestion. 

Excessive "cold" energy in the body, on the contrary, will make us feel weak, lethargic, tired and restless.  

The constitution of each person is influenced by congenital factors as well as the acquired lifestyle (e.g diet, stress level, amount of exercise and sleep, living environment), and this varies from person to person. In other words, different foods act upon the human body in different ways and affect our state of health. The body's metabolism, functioning of organs and organ structure all combine to determine our susceptibility to these heaty and cooling effects of foods. 

Examples of cooling and heaty foods:

Cool (Yin) Foods: 

Bamboo shoot, banana, bitter gourd, clam, crab, grapefruit, lettuce, persimmon, salt, seaweed, star fruit, sugar cane, water chestnut, watermelon, lotus root, cucumber, barley, bean curd, chicken egg white, marjoram, oyster, pear, peppermint, radish, strawberry, tangerine, and yogurt, broccoli, cauliflower, zuccini, corn, tomatoes, pineapple, turmeric.

Neutral (balanced Yin and Yang) Foods:

Honey, corn, abalone, apricot, beef, beetroot, black fungus, carp, carrot, celery, chicken egg yolk, cuttlefish, duck, fig, kidney bean, lotus fruit and seed, milk, olive, oyster, papaya, pork, potato, pumpkin, radish leaf, red bean, plum, sunflower seed, sweet rice, sweet potato, white fungus, yellow soybean, brussels sprouts, snow peas, sweet potato, taro, dates, figs, raspberries, raisins, sage, rosemary, thyme, brown rice, apple.

Heaty (Yang) Foods:

Pepper, cinnamon bark, ginger, soybean oil, red and green pepper, chicken, apricot seed, brown sugar, cherry, chestnut, chive, cinnamon twig, clove, coconut, coffee, coriander (Chinese parsley), date, dill-seed, eel, garlic, grapefruit peel, green onion, guava, ham, leaf mustard, leek, longan, mutton, nutmeg, peach, raspberry, rosemary, shrimp, spearmint, sweet basil, tobacco, vinegar, walnut, jack-fruit, durian, leek, shallots, spring onion, , apricots, blackberries, black currant, mangoes, peaches, cherry, mandarin orange, grape.

How a food is prepared also matters. E.g Beef is considered as neutral, but if you have it deep fried or grilled, it would be considered as heaty. In addition, there are some interesting broad guidelines to determine whether a certain food is heaty or cooling:

Heaty/yang foods:

• grow under the hot sun;
• are sweet;
• •have lots of fats; 
• rich in sodium;
• are hard, dry or spicy

Cold/yin foods:

• •grow in little sunshine;
• are salty;
• are lean;
• rich in potassium;
• soft and wet; 

The heatiness and cooling effect of foods refer to their capacity to generate sensations - either hot or cold in our body. They do not refer to the state of the food but its effect on our bodies. For example, tea is a cooling food. This means that it generates cold energy in our body. To seek a balance in diet, we can classify food as predominantly yin or yang. Hence, if you eat predominantly yin foods, your body will be capable of producing only cold energy, in contrast, eating predominantly yang foods produces hotter energy. 

If a person suffers from cold rheumatism, eating foods with a warm or hot energy would be helpful. If a person's acne condition deteriorate due to consumption of fried foods, it is beneficial to eat cooling foods to counter heatiness and relieve symptoms. Hence, to strike a yin-yang balance in the diet, it's almost natural for the Chinese to have a glass of a lemon barley or winter melon (cooling) drink to go with a plate of (heaty) fried rice, or a bowl of (heaty) spicy noodle with some (cooling) fruits such as star fruits or water melon.  

The concept of heatiness is not meaningful or relevant in the western medicine paradigm. However, it is believed that there is some parallel to Acid (heaty) and alkaline (cooling) balance, or protons and positive charges (heaty) and cooling (electrons and negative charges). Medicine evolves. Conventional medical doctors in the west has long started to integrate and learn about alternative treatments or medicines and incorporate them into their practice. Today they believe that these new medical approaches are beneficial and effective in many ways. 

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